In Her Own Words: Prozac
Induced Psychosis Leads to Death of Child Paula's Story
(Permission granted to use real names)
I am thirty-six years old this December 9th. I had a complete hysterectomy
at the age of twenty-six. My doctor put me on hormone replacement. I had
problems sleeping. I would go through nights without any sleep, fighting
insomnia. Through lack of sleep I was exhausted.
A friend of mine suggested for me to go to her physician. She felt he could help me. She made the appointment and drove me to the doctors office. After seeing the doctor, he prescribed a sleeping aid, which was the root of the problem- and Prozac. I found out my friend was on it too. She expressed to me it made her feel like a brand new person. No one took the time to explain the danger of this drug or monitored me on the drug.
At the time, I really was not sure of how I felt, there was a lot of changes. The only difference was that I was sleeping a little better than before. My emotions were numbed, nothing bothered me, even daily chores. I let them go. I did not care. Soon my insomnia came back even worse than before. In March 2000, being on Prozac three months, I started my way to hell. I did not know mentally what is going on or happening within. My whole mental recall is blurred. I started crying hysterically. It crossed my mind this was ridiculous-crying all the time, and spending the amount of money monthly for Prozac.
I threw the bottle of pills in the trash. Each day that went by I steadily was heading for bottom. Everything that crossed my mind had to do with religion. The people that I saw at this time all knew that something was wrong with me. This went on for about nine to ten days. Each day I was getting worse. Toward the eighth day my emotion/thoughts flipped speedily from one thought to another.
Aubrey, my eleven year old daughter, and I went to MacDonalds for lunch. I became extremely paranoid of everyone in the building. I thought someone was going to come in and start shooting. I was so frightened- all I could think of was protecting Aubrey. I thought my yard was the Garden of Eden. Everything was meant to be free. So I let our big dog loose and freed our two ducks that were in a cage. Our big dog caught one of the ducks in his mouth. Immediately it crossed my mind that he was a monster and he was going to kill the ducks. I became scared of him. In the process of trying to catch him to get the duck out of his mouth, he finally let the duck go. He then jumped on Aubrey and knocked her down. She was screaming. He was on top of her and she could not get up. That's when I hysterically went to pieces. I had to save her. I went to get the gun that was in the closet on the top shelf. I shot the dog to save Aubrey.
The next thing I remember was that I was in my bathroom to put the gun up and all of a sudden my thinking pattern shifts again. Crying, I put the gun to my head to pull the trigger when Aubrey walked into the bathroom to witnesses what is fixing to happen. She screams "No Momma”, and jumped on me and grabbed my hand with the gun. The gun went off. The bullet that was meant for me- hit her.
The next thing I remember is waking up in ICU being told I had been shot. I lost one lung and part of my liver. I lost Aubrey. I went through hell for days. No one had enough time to reach a caring hand out to save me. My daughter was the bravest of all. She reached out her hand and saved my life.
What once was a normal family is now grieving. A torn apart family that has lost so much. I had to undergo hypnosis to remember all of this, for my memory had gone blank. I was charged with murder and also the death penalty.
Today, I have been on a long journey. It has been almost two years since my world came crashing down. Everyday I see my scars on my body to remind me of this horrible tragedy that I lived through and Aubrey did not. When I was in the hospital I had guards 24 hours a day. After I was discharged, I was sent to the psychiatric ward, and I remained there for a couple of weeks, then was sent to the parish jail for three months. I was sent to a mental hospital for therapy/hypnosis to regain my memory. I stayed there six months.
The judge found me Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity to the Charge of First Degree Murder and committed me to the custody of the State Department of Health and Hospital, Forensic Division. Due to a long waiting list for this particular hospital, I was sent to jail for nine months. I have made it to the hospital, but I don't see a psychiatrist once a month. These people in here are all on drugs.
I have made it this far and have not taken even hormones. Yes, they have tried to put me on them, But I refuse to take them. They tell me I am hopeless.
This is in Paula's own writing,
Thanks and please share this with others show them how dangerous these drugs can be.
Sandra Cindrich (Paula’s Mother)